Maintaining secrets is serious business. The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, is quoted as saying, “He who does not expose a Muslim, Allah will not expose him in this world and in the Hereafter” (Bukhari and Muslim)
Confiding Secrets
Protecting a secret is like protecting one’s chastity. When you keep a secret, be it a personal concealment or that of a friend, u keep urself chaste. However, those who spread secrets endanger their honor and reputation by leaving the unguarded. When it comes to personal matters, we should make every attempt to keep our secrets to ourselves. Doing so insures that we remain masters of ourselves. We protect ourselves from exposing our “awrah”, or private parts and weaknesses. Islam advises that we work to conceal those private parts of ourselves we would prefer others not know; moral deficiencies such as constantly using bad language or having bad manners. Characteristics such as these are considered both a secret and a private part that should remain concealed as long as others have no knowledge of it.
The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, was known to use the following invocation: "Oh Allah, do not expose our awrah (private parts and weaknesses) and give us security from that which frighten us” (Bukhari). Letting someone else in on a secret gives that person a sort of authority in whether or not a secret is exposed. When u consider revealing a secret to another, u must be sure that this person can be trusted with ur honor, b’coz ur honor is at stake. When in doubt, ask urself this : is this person going to be a meticulous about guarding ur secret as they would be about guarding their own honor?
There are times when we feel that there is no choice but to confide certain secrets. Perhaps we seek advice or guidance in a particular situation and believe there is nowhere else to turn. Such circumstances can ignite feelings of desperation. In that instance, one must exercise restraint and be careful not to disclose a personal confidence to everyone. It is best to choose one person to confide in, as sharing a secret with more than a person increases the likelihood that it will be revealed. Again, the one with whom we choose to confide should be well chosen. They should possess wisdom, and be trustworthy and honest.
The Virtue of Keeping a Secret
If a secret is one best not exposed, then it is considered a “private part”, as previously mentioned, and there is great virtue in keeping it. having one’s “private parts” protected and concealed is the right of every Muslim and should be observed by his/her fellow Muslims.
In the story of Ma’iz, who admitted to having committed adultery, a man named Hazzal came and boasted, ‘it is I who ordered him to come and confess.’ “Oh, Hazzal, had you covered (not exposed) him with your garment it would have been better for you,” said the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam (Ahmad)
Even if a secret entrusted seems in some way unimportant, and does not amount to a “private part,” keeping it reflects a rare generosity, trustworthiness, and strong willpower. Keeping a believer’s secret is a sign of perfect faith. The Companions of the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, used to treat secret with utmost care; Thabit narrated that Anas said to him, “I was once playing with a group of kids when the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, approached to me and sent me to do a certain work for him. When I later came hoe that day , my mother inquired, “where have u been?” “I was taking care of some business of the Prophet,” I replied. “And what was that business?” she asked. “I cannot tell u, it is a secret,” I answered . “Good, good son, don’t reveal the Prophet’s secret to any” she said approvingly (Bukhari and Muslim)
This also applies to the virture of maintaining privacy about one’s self. if u r tempted in to a sinful ask that is witnessed by no one other than Allah, then u should conceal that act and turn to ur Lord in repentance. But if instead u go about sharing the details of the sinful deed here and there, it is as if u r boasting abt the act in qs. In the eyes of Allah, this behavior is more detestable than the sin itself.
The merit of keeping secrets too humiliating or degrading to be revealed is like helping someone who has somehow stumbled or slipped into error to take the correct path : “ he who sees a ‘private part’ and does not expose it, his act will be tantamount to bringing a newborn girl buried alive back to life” (Abu Dawud and Hakim)
The Repercussion of Revealing a Secret
The damage that can result from revealing another’s secret can range from mild embarrassment to extreme devastation. It is important to remember that we are to never purposely do things to the detriment of another as stated in the Qur’an “….And those who annoy the believing man and the believing women without their earning it, shall surely bear the guilt of calumny and manifest sin” [33:58]
Revealed secrets, done so carelessly or with malice, have destroyed lives, families, and futures. When you are asked to keep a secret and you pledge to do so, yet later relent and divulge it, you commit a breach of confidence and of the pledge you made. This places you into the same category as transgressor, much like hypocrites whose hypocrisy is made known by certain despicable sins.
Disclosure of a Secret ---- Is it Ever Okay?
Of course there are instances where revealing a secret is best, such as when not revealing it may result in harm to others. An example might be a university professor who admits to using his position and authority to pressure his young female students with unlawful sexual advances. or suppose an acquaintance confesses to habitually causing physical harm to others for no reason, attacking his victims at random. In both instances the safety and well being of others is more important. Not revealing the secret could encourage a person to become bolder in their deviant actions.
it is important to be honest with yourself and be able to admit the truth as to why u may choose to reveal another’s secret. Allah is aware of our innermost being, so if u r succumbing to a desire to tell based on selfishness, it is best to keep quiet. Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, says, “And follow not desire, lest it cause you to err for the path of Allah” [38;26]
“Most motives that lead us to divulge another’s secrets or uncover their weaknesses can be attributed to desires. ‘Selves’ have a tendency to uncover things kept hidden and savor backbiting people and talking about their weaknesses, especially in those gatherings where Allah is feared. So, whoever yields to his inclination in such cases, will be following his own desires, and whoever discloses what he knows of his brother’s secrets, is also a slave to desire and a satan’s ally ‘what motives such acts is grudge, ill nature.” ( Al-Hulaimi; Secret Disclosure in Islamic Sharia)
As believers in faith and with the guidance of Allah, we must work to rise above such malicious intent, and cultivate the type of balanced personality, maturity, intelligence and discretion that allows us to maintain our own secrets and those of our brothers and sister.
Confiding Secrets
Protecting a secret is like protecting one’s chastity. When you keep a secret, be it a personal concealment or that of a friend, u keep urself chaste. However, those who spread secrets endanger their honor and reputation by leaving the unguarded. When it comes to personal matters, we should make every attempt to keep our secrets to ourselves. Doing so insures that we remain masters of ourselves. We protect ourselves from exposing our “awrah”, or private parts and weaknesses. Islam advises that we work to conceal those private parts of ourselves we would prefer others not know; moral deficiencies such as constantly using bad language or having bad manners. Characteristics such as these are considered both a secret and a private part that should remain concealed as long as others have no knowledge of it.
The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, was known to use the following invocation: "Oh Allah, do not expose our awrah (private parts and weaknesses) and give us security from that which frighten us” (Bukhari). Letting someone else in on a secret gives that person a sort of authority in whether or not a secret is exposed. When u consider revealing a secret to another, u must be sure that this person can be trusted with ur honor, b’coz ur honor is at stake. When in doubt, ask urself this : is this person going to be a meticulous about guarding ur secret as they would be about guarding their own honor?
There are times when we feel that there is no choice but to confide certain secrets. Perhaps we seek advice or guidance in a particular situation and believe there is nowhere else to turn. Such circumstances can ignite feelings of desperation. In that instance, one must exercise restraint and be careful not to disclose a personal confidence to everyone. It is best to choose one person to confide in, as sharing a secret with more than a person increases the likelihood that it will be revealed. Again, the one with whom we choose to confide should be well chosen. They should possess wisdom, and be trustworthy and honest.
The Virtue of Keeping a Secret
If a secret is one best not exposed, then it is considered a “private part”, as previously mentioned, and there is great virtue in keeping it. having one’s “private parts” protected and concealed is the right of every Muslim and should be observed by his/her fellow Muslims.
In the story of Ma’iz, who admitted to having committed adultery, a man named Hazzal came and boasted, ‘it is I who ordered him to come and confess.’ “Oh, Hazzal, had you covered (not exposed) him with your garment it would have been better for you,” said the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam (Ahmad)
Even if a secret entrusted seems in some way unimportant, and does not amount to a “private part,” keeping it reflects a rare generosity, trustworthiness, and strong willpower. Keeping a believer’s secret is a sign of perfect faith. The Companions of the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, used to treat secret with utmost care; Thabit narrated that Anas said to him, “I was once playing with a group of kids when the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, approached to me and sent me to do a certain work for him. When I later came hoe that day , my mother inquired, “where have u been?” “I was taking care of some business of the Prophet,” I replied. “And what was that business?” she asked. “I cannot tell u, it is a secret,” I answered . “Good, good son, don’t reveal the Prophet’s secret to any” she said approvingly (Bukhari and Muslim)
This also applies to the virture of maintaining privacy about one’s self. if u r tempted in to a sinful ask that is witnessed by no one other than Allah, then u should conceal that act and turn to ur Lord in repentance. But if instead u go about sharing the details of the sinful deed here and there, it is as if u r boasting abt the act in qs. In the eyes of Allah, this behavior is more detestable than the sin itself.
The merit of keeping secrets too humiliating or degrading to be revealed is like helping someone who has somehow stumbled or slipped into error to take the correct path : “ he who sees a ‘private part’ and does not expose it, his act will be tantamount to bringing a newborn girl buried alive back to life” (Abu Dawud and Hakim)
The Repercussion of Revealing a Secret
The damage that can result from revealing another’s secret can range from mild embarrassment to extreme devastation. It is important to remember that we are to never purposely do things to the detriment of another as stated in the Qur’an “….And those who annoy the believing man and the believing women without their earning it, shall surely bear the guilt of calumny and manifest sin” [33:58]
Revealed secrets, done so carelessly or with malice, have destroyed lives, families, and futures. When you are asked to keep a secret and you pledge to do so, yet later relent and divulge it, you commit a breach of confidence and of the pledge you made. This places you into the same category as transgressor, much like hypocrites whose hypocrisy is made known by certain despicable sins.
Disclosure of a Secret ---- Is it Ever Okay?
Of course there are instances where revealing a secret is best, such as when not revealing it may result in harm to others. An example might be a university professor who admits to using his position and authority to pressure his young female students with unlawful sexual advances. or suppose an acquaintance confesses to habitually causing physical harm to others for no reason, attacking his victims at random. In both instances the safety and well being of others is more important. Not revealing the secret could encourage a person to become bolder in their deviant actions.
it is important to be honest with yourself and be able to admit the truth as to why u may choose to reveal another’s secret. Allah is aware of our innermost being, so if u r succumbing to a desire to tell based on selfishness, it is best to keep quiet. Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, says, “And follow not desire, lest it cause you to err for the path of Allah” [38;26]
“Most motives that lead us to divulge another’s secrets or uncover their weaknesses can be attributed to desires. ‘Selves’ have a tendency to uncover things kept hidden and savor backbiting people and talking about their weaknesses, especially in those gatherings where Allah is feared. So, whoever yields to his inclination in such cases, will be following his own desires, and whoever discloses what he knows of his brother’s secrets, is also a slave to desire and a satan’s ally ‘what motives such acts is grudge, ill nature.” ( Al-Hulaimi; Secret Disclosure in Islamic Sharia)
As believers in faith and with the guidance of Allah, we must work to rise above such malicious intent, and cultivate the type of balanced personality, maturity, intelligence and discretion that allows us to maintain our own secrets and those of our brothers and sister.
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